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Posts tagged: boys

Boys are rarely told that their virginity is a gift, or indeed that their sexuality is about “giving” something to another person – lightly or not. Boys “get laid”, “get lucky”, “get some”. They “take a girl’s virginity”, “take advantage”; if they’re thoughtful, they “take their time”. Boys are not taught to think of themselves or their virginity as something to be offered up, unwrapped and enjoyed.
 Emily Maguire in ‘Like a Virgin’ for The Monthly (via dustyhalo)
bisexual-books:

thehomophilemovement:

For Colored Boys who have considered suicide when the rainbow is still not enough edited by Keith Boykin
This book addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American, Latino, and Asian American communities, and more specifically among young men of color. This inspirational book tells the stories of real people growing up gay, seeking love, finding their own identity, and ultimately creating their own sense of personal and political empowerment.

We reviewed this title here.  The take home :  “I hope that more gay white men who don’t interact much with gay men of color pick it up.  For them, this is a must-read.”

bisexual-books:

thehomophilemovement:

For Colored Boys who have considered suicide when the rainbow is still not enough edited by Keith Boykin

This book addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American, Latino, and Asian American communities, and more specifically among young men of color. This inspirational book tells the stories of real people growing up gay, seeking love, finding their own identity, and ultimately creating their own sense of personal and political empowerment.

We reviewed this title here.  The take home :  “I hope that more gay white men who don’t interact much with gay men of color pick it up.  For them, this is a must-read.”

Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions.

Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately.

[x] (via neighborly)

As a teacher, I give girls what I hope is a lot of attention.  I don’t know if I give girls their fair share, but I aspire to, especially after noticing that boys are willing to use their greater share of teachers’ attention to get girls who they feel aren’t being quiet and docile enough punished.  I have therefore acquired a reputation for “caring more about the girls.”  This has had two marked results: Some straight boys have gotten more hostile toward me, and most girls have gotten more confident around me.  This makes me think I’m doing something right.

Longer thoughts on how this phenomenon relates to sexual harassment in classrooms, if you’re interested: The girls figured out I won’t report them if they hit boys who are sexually harassing them, I’ll only report the boys.  This led to an increase in how often girls got the last word and boys got smacked in my classes, and, also, to a DECREASE IN HOW OFTEN GIRLS GOT SEXUALLY HARASSED.  The sexual harassers seem to have been depending on the sort of “equal blame” and “retaliation is never warranted” and “don’t hurt others’ feelings” perspectives so many schools try to instill in kids; the sexual harassers were usually the ones bringing me into the situation by saying, “Miss, she hit me!  You should write her up!”  Once they figured out I was only ever going to respond, “If you don’t treat girls like that, they won’t hit you,” the girls got more confident and the sexual harassers largely shut the fuck up.

In schools, fighting against sexual harassment is often punished exactly the same as, or more severely than, sexual harassment — a lot of discipline codes make no distinction between violence and violence in self-defence, and violence is ALWAYS the highest level of disciplinary infraction, whereas verbal sexual harassment rarely is.  Sexual harassers, at least in the schools I’ve been in, rely heavily on GETTING GIRLS IN TROUBLE WITH HIGHER AUTHORITIES as a strategy of harassment — creating an external punishment that penalises girls for and therefore discourages girls from fighting back.  Sexual harassers are willing to use their greater share of floorspace to ask to get girls who won’t date them punished.  By and large, teachers do punish those girls when they swear or hit.  Schools condition girls to ignore sexual harassment by punishing them when they speak up or fight back instead.

Once the sexual harassers in my classes understood that girls wouldn’t be punished for rejecting them, they backed off around me.  And there started to be a flip in what conversations I get called into — girls are telling me when boys are being nasty (too loud and dominant), instead of boys telling me when girls are being uncooperative (louder and more dominant than boys think they should be).

(via torrentofbabies)

reblogging again for the wonderful commentary.

(via partysoft)

reapergrellsutcliff:

Kiss Scene rough sketches - Drawing for Boys Love (Yaoi)‘  A 103 page book/CD rom with male/male kissing scenes, from many different angles, for artist drawing references.

prochoicetruth:

whoneedsfeminism:

My daughters should not have a truck grabbed out of their hands by an adult and handed to a male cousin because, “This is a boy toy anyway.”
My son shouldn’t be ridiculed because his favorite color is pink.  

As a little girl, I had short hair, wore overalls, and played with toy soldiers. I was too little to grasp the knowing glances, or the consoling whispers that at least my mother had two other children to give her grandbabies- this from the ones who knew I was a girl. I went by my initials in those days, so no one who didn’t know my family was quite sure. 
Now, years later, I’m a happy adult with a wonderful guy. And my golden-curled sister who loved her dolls and ponies and wore pink dresses? She’s happy as well, and she and her girlfriend make a lovely couple. 
How I dress as a child means nothing except I like dressing that way (for me, it was primarily utilitarian- overalls were easy to run around in and less likely to fall down like pants often did on my small frame, and short hair meant less time getting ready in the morning). Nothing about my toy and color choices meant anything, except that I liked playing war and the color green. The teachers who directed me to the pink and purple crayons or the dolls did nothing but upset me and cause a disruption. 

prochoicetruth:

whoneedsfeminism:

My daughters should not have a truck grabbed out of their hands by an adult and handed to a male cousin because, “This is a boy toy anyway.”

My son shouldn’t be ridiculed because his favorite color is pink.  

As a little girl, I had short hair, wore overalls, and played with toy soldiers. I was too little to grasp the knowing glances, or the consoling whispers that at least my mother had two other children to give her grandbabies- this from the ones who knew I was a girl. I went by my initials in those days, so no one who didn’t know my family was quite sure. 

Now, years later, I’m a happy adult with a wonderful guy. And my golden-curled sister who loved her dolls and ponies and wore pink dresses? She’s happy as well, and she and her girlfriend make a lovely couple. 

How I dress as a child means nothing except I like dressing that way (for me, it was primarily utilitarian- overalls were easy to run around in and less likely to fall down like pants often did on my small frame, and short hair meant less time getting ready in the morning). Nothing about my toy and color choices meant anything, except that I liked playing war and the color green. The teachers who directed me to the pink and purple crayons or the dolls did nothing but upset me and cause a disruption. 

So it seems everyone who likes me, in a crush or romantic way, always prefers me in jeans-and-a-tee rather than dresses or girly things. And some part of me feels rebellious about this. A couple days ago someone told them they only flirt with girls dressed in pants, so of course yesterday when I went shopping every single article of clothing that caught my eye was silky, lacy, and/or pink. It’s not on purpose. I think it’s because previous boyfriends constantly criticized what I wore, and because I wore actual boys’ clothes in high school, that in the last few years I’ve started dressing pretty. I’ve been doing it even more-so since I got my hair cut really short. I dunno, maybe it’s just because I don’t like tight/restrictive clothing during spring/summer. Maybe some part of me wants to test if they’ll still find me attractive in different clothes?

This is hilarious!

zombiesusingtheinternets:

purpleandgreenpro:

odeblu:

nerdaliztix:

bitmaptoastie:

suddenlywhaledicks:

falcuntpunch:

What did I even just WATCH

you watched something amazing my frend

I like how you can see the guy in the background on both ones. 

I guess this is the only cool way to use these programs

I want it.

SHIT LOST